Wednesday

draw my life


paramore was like my life back before i was introduced to the summer set and omg last night i felt all my childhood come back to me.


hey everyone! today's post is going to be different from what i've been doing lately, but monday night i spent the entire night watching 'draw my life' videos for some reason and thought, "oh hey, why don't i do a modified version of it on here, as a post?" and this post was born. i'm doing you guys a favor tear it down break the barricade i wanna see what sound it makes... since i'm sorta nervous about sharing my life with you guys but whatever. enjoy. :)

ALSO i can't draw to save my life, so please excuse my shitty stick figure drawings.

oh and the reason why this looks like izzy's laptop/computer is because i had custody of izzy's laptop yesterday so yeah.

wait why is 'merry christmas, kiss my ass' playing on here? IT'S NOT EVEN DECEMBER YET.

i guess my life sorta started when my parents got married back in august 2001 and then almost a year later had my sister, then almost five years later had me. but anyway, i was born on january 20, 2006 (and for those of you who are confused about why i put '2002' in one post was because it was a typo and stuff, so sorry!) as makayla-grace (hence the blog title). i was a very happy baby at that time, though i barely remember anything because i was, well, a baby.

so let's fast-forward to july 2015 (why? you don't want to know about my life as a baby.... i also remember nothing from then.)

  
 someday in july 2015, we got a new neighbor, who is currently my best/only friend. i wasn't sure if i would like her that much, but then she started talking to my sister and eavesdropped on the conversation and soon found out she was very similar to me, and soon sex and stereo we became friends. i also had gotten my guitar a few weeks before izzy moved in.
on november 28, 2015, i was diagnosed with leukemia. i was scared and nervous, and being hooked up to an iv all day sucked. i underwent about twenty chemotherapy treatments to help it go away, but i wasn't sure if the chemo would react well in my body, and what would happen if it didn't? i was confused about it, how did it happen? all these questions were in my mind but no one answered when i asked them about it. (around that time i had started this blog.)


about two months after my first chemo treatment, i was getting used to life at the hospital. one night i found out that my parents broke up and my dad took my brother with him and my dad remarried. it made me depressed and i started thinking about suicide. a lot of sad shit was going on around that time, and some of it still does today. i cut myself a lot, thinking i would get away with it because i have scars from chemo, too, but nope. my depression got worse every single day and i would wake up at like two a.m. some nights and think about suicide then cry myself back to sleep.

a few months ago i was given one last chemo treatment before i was in remission. i thought getting an escape from the hospital would make me happier, which it did, until i found out my mom was really sick. what made it worse, though, was i was back in the hospital only a few weeks after i had gotten out of there.

a few weeks ago an opportunity came up about a better chemo treatment, though it meant leaving my current hospital to get it. i accepted and i was driven away in the back of an ambulance to a new hospital, bringing only myself and my guitar.

so um..... idk how to end this thing positively. so... the end? (?)

****

well.

i did it.

I FINALLY DREW SOMETHING ONLINE.

i also posted this. it's been in my post feed thing as a draft for like a month and i finally got back into doing this.

anywhoo... yeah.

now time for some sad mcr piano.

7 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you have depression!! But you shouldn't kill yourself, you have people who love you and care very deeply about you!! I know for a fact the Izzy is worried about you!! So please, don't kill yourself!
    -Dani

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    Replies
    1. no no no, don't say sorry, dani. i've been trying to not kill myself, okay? i don't know why this happened, so don't say sorry.

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  2. WAIT HOLD UP..... *checks again* BRO YOU FORGOT WHEN I GOT YOU INTO THE SUMMER SET LIKE WHY DI YOU FORGET. Brian and Jess and the others are important, they lead you into who you are now.

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    Replies
    1. HOLY FUCKSHITBALLS (hey look new word i made up.) I DID OMG. kay i'll edit this sooner or later... actually i'm lazy so nah i won't.

      Delete