i'm actually alive.
it's a miracle, eh?
--
i did it again.
i tried to kill myself
again
--
i did it because my
mum and dad were fighting over the phone and my two older siblings who
live with me weren't home and i had no one to talk to, plus i can't
stand fights at all, and i tried to kill myself..
i
overdosed on pills and my sister when she came home found out
and rushed me to the hospital (my mum was at a bar when my sis came
home) and i was in an opioid-induced coma for a couple days and
the doctors thought i was done but i woke up yesterday from the coma
and, well, here i am.
i'm still in the hospital but i should be out within a week or so.
--
i'm so stupid.
i did it and i regret it completely.
and i did it when the solution could've just been talking to my parents or using a coping method.
god i'm so fricking dumb.
--
i'm sorry for being this way, guys.
you guys do nice things for me- volunteering to talk to me when i need help, supporting me no matter what, etc- and all i do in return is try and kill myself.
i'm so stupid.
--
i don't know if i'm gonna be okay.
ever since the beginning of june, it feels like i've been on an emotional rollercoaster that only went down.
i cut too many times, i tried to overdose, i actually did overdose, i was put on suicide watch, i got depression meds (god i hate those things. i already take enough meds already + sleeping pills), i haven't slept much the past couple weeks, i haven't had any appetite..
i need help guys.
i really do.
--
i'm sorry i made you read this.
~grace
Hey Grace! We are always here for you when you need help or when you are feeling down. Feel free to talk to me or any of your other friends (if you include me as one of your friends). You’re not stupid though. Instead of saying sorry try to do whatever you can to get better. From what I can tell you are a pretty amazing person and the world would be that much less amazing if you were gone, :) If I can help you like at all just tell me.
ReplyDeletelike nabila said, if you ever need to talk or if you need help, you can come talk to me. i know what you're going through (hell, i even have an email draft with resources for you lol.) and it's hell on earth.
ReplyDeletei really hope things get better for you grace, i really do. and you're not stupid for doing it, some people just can't fight the urge to try and attempt it (like *coughMEcough*)
you're strong, beautiful, and all-out amazing. i love you so fucking much, stay strong because it'll all be okay.
-izzy/mason-