thoughts during chemo #3

• why do i listen to only two bring me the horizon songs  but i can't get off my lazy ass and listen to more of their songs?
• why is pokemon go popular? 
• am i the only person here who has snapchat but doesn't use it because i have no friends?
• why was josh naked in the one the summer set video where they were doing a cover of "you belong with me" by taylor swift?
• why am i always broke?
• why did mydigitalescape break up????
• can i get dan and phil to come and visit me one day? probably not but whatever.
• WHY DOES AMAZON HAVE DON'T PANIC IT'S LONGER NOW PRICED AS FUCKING $80????
• how come my mom is the same age as gerard way?
• WHERE CAN I GET A PURPLE DILDO???
• can i have more band merch?
• what's up with my stupid phone IT WON'T LET ME TEXT ANYONE. UPDATE: my bill needs to be paid so yay me.
• BUT THAT T-SHIRT WAS ON THE SITE LAST MONTH WHY IS THAT RED KICK ME SHIRT FROM HOT TOPIC NOT ON THE SITE ANYMORE????????
• so why did i think kellin quinn was a girl? why? am i just a stupid motherfucker who can't figure it out*?
• why does vic yell, "TONY!!!!" in "floral and fading"?

*** 

pain. suffering. DEATH. 

probably not the most comforting choice of words for a ten-year-old but whatever. those are the three words that currently describe my life now. 

 can i fall asleep here that would be grEAT THANKS.

anyway, so i have a question for you guys. 

why do i have no friends? like i have one but that's it. xD

also can i have a llama as a pet?

~grace~

listen.... can we talk?

 (all photos on here are mine.)
(also all photos were taken back in like april or march or something. idk so just go with it.)

so last night while randomly staring at a ceiling at two in the morning i sorta felt the need to look at this blog and read comments. i read every single word in all four comments you guys left me and i started crying.

  

 each and every one of you guys, whether you've been on here for fifteen seconds or have been viewing this blog since the beginning of time, have made a really big impact on me. you guys are literally the most sweetest things ever.

 

i also started thinking about everything that's gone on here. all the things i've accomplished, all the things i've fucked up, all the breaks i took, and how much i've grown and changed from november 2015 to now. honestly everything that's happened has affected me in more good ways than bad, even if my life seems like some shit-filled nightmare, and i think i should stay here. not only in the blogging world, but in the irl world too.

so yes, i'm not dead and i'm back.

i still have scars on my arms from cutting myself, but those will go away, right?

***

honestly this is the best post i've done so far, eh? idk.

anyway, i'm sorta in a posting slump (ugh yay for me. *rolls eyes*) so post suggestions would be appreciated (just nothing that involves me giving out too much info, please. i don't want you to just casually stalk me haha.).

~grace~